Tard Reviews

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Tard "Dining With The Lepers" is kinda a happy go lucky sounding thing. What comes to mind is Social Distortion right around "Somewhere Between Heaven And Hell" mixed with NOFX after a couple cases, sorta sloppy, but still on it, but really fuck'n stoked on something. If you like underground punk you'll be amped on these guys.

Paying in Pain Magazine

December 2006

Those who miss the sense of humor Propagandhi displayed on their punk masterpiece “How to Clean Everything” should be sure to check out the new release from Tard, entitled Dining With the Lepers. But be warned; Tard is a poor man’s Propagandhi, lacking the political vision and satirical wit of those Canadian dudes. But at least they have the potty humor and NOFX-brand o’ punk rock down.

Dining With the Lepers is more or less book-ended with its two best tracks, “Yer Head” and “Double Wide.” “Yer Head” has the early ’90s Fat Wreck sound down perfectly. Snotty vocals, tons of “whoas,” and a grinding guitar/bass combo form some quality pop punk in the tradition of Face to Face and The Descendents. The song takes a weird detour into skit-skat-y territory near the end, giving it an extra dash of infectiousness, it’s a great opening track.

Given the bar the band sets for itself with the first track, it’s a wonder “Hey Kid” can keep up. It’s still pretty rollicking, but loaded with typical punk clichis. “Hey kid (whoa!), no one can tell you what to say. Hey kid (whoa!), no one can tell you to look that way,” go some of the song’s opening lines. It’s defiant, but in a bit of a cookie cutter way.

The song titles alone reveal the band’s Fat Wreck-Lite sound. Whereas Propagandhi wrote a song called “Stick The Fucking Flag Up Your Goddam Ass, You Sonofabitch,” Tard settles for briefer, but lesser, names. Titles like “Butt Whore” and “Anarchy Yeah!” are shorter and easier to write, but those characteristics can also be attributed to their song quality. “Anarchy Yeah!” boasts some great punk bass work from GW, These songs are good.

Punk has always been about conciseness, which Dining With the Lepers honors with its 10 songs clocking in at about 26 minutes. That works well; the lesser songs breeze by without being painful and the good songs zip by so fast you want to press “rewind.” “Boiled Meat” tries to be funny (”My dick’s as soft as boiled meat!”), but its juvenile sentiments barely match “My Vagina,” let alone anything else. But the album does end on a high note, thanks to “Double Wide.”

Wonka Vision

December 2006

Tard

Dining with the Lepers

Fivecore Records

Street: 11.06

Tard = Leftover Crack + NOFX + Fear

This band is called Tard. That just screams out quality, right? Actually, Tard is pretty much everything you'd expect from a band with such a name, and even though the CD case is ripe with vaguely satanic imagery and spelling errors, Dining with the Lepers is pretty enjoyable in a completely stupid way. The band tries to be as offensive as possible with songs such as "Kill Kill Kill" where in they advocate killing just about every single race of human being that has ever existed. And who could forget the utterly classy "Butt Whore"? The music is nice and juicy with it's mid-tempo guitars and plenty of "whoa-ohs" and other backing vocals that'll get you singing along until you remember that you're listening to a band called Tard. Dining with the Lepers is a goofy little album, and as long as you’re willing to tolerate a moderate to high level of stupidity, it’ll be right up your alley.

–Ricky Vigils.